Redefining Sex: Performance Anxiety, Kinks, and the Truth About Intimacy with Dr. Eric Van Der Voort

In this eye-opening conversation, host Dustin Oliver speaks with Dr. Eric Van Der Voort, a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist, about the many misconceptions and complexities surrounding human sexuality. They explore how performance anxiety can disrupt intimacy, the importance of open communication in sexual relationships, and the ways societal norms shape, and often distort, our expectations around sex.

Dr. Van Der Voort offers a non-pathologizing approach to sexual behavior, distinguishing between sexual behaviors and addiction while encouraging a more compassionate understanding of kinks, fantasies, and the obsession with orgasm. He emphasizes the need to challenge internalized shame, redefine what “good sex” really means, and foster deeper connection through vulnerability and honest conversation.

Whether you’re a clinician, someone exploring your own sexuality, or simply curious, this episode offers practical insights and thoughtful reflections to support healthier, more fulfilling sexual relationships.

Connect with Dr. van der Voort:

⁠Therapy⁠

⁠Website⁠

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Episode Guide & Chapters: 

00:00 Introduction and Personal Connection

02:07 Exploring Clinical Work and Background

09:00 Transition to Sex Therapy

11:00 Understanding Sexuality and Addiction

17:27 Societal Attitudes Towards Sex

18:52 Performance Anxiety in Sexual Relationships

26:25 Navigating Sexual Performance Issues

31:16 The Importance of Open Communication in Sexual Relationships

32:09 Understanding Performance Anxiety and Its Impact

34:57 Challenging Societal Norms Around Sex

38:29 Redefining What Good Sex Means

42:56 The Obsession with Orgasm in Sexual Encounters

46:36 Navigating Kinks and Overcoming Shame

52:28 Fantasy vs. Reality in Sexual Desires

54:31 Key Takeaways for Healthy Sexual Practices

Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver