boy meets therapy

Healing Religious Trauma: Queer Identity, Deconstruction, and Inner Child Work with Liz Rhea

In this episode of boy meets therapy, host Dustin Oliver is joined by therapist Liz Rhea for an honest and deeply moving conversation about religious trauma and queer identity. Together, they unpack how adverse religious experiences can shape self-worth, relationships, and mental health, particularly for LGBTQ+ individuals. Liz shares her clinical insights on the effects of sermons and church environments, while exploring the power of deconstruction, inner child work, and grief processing in healing. This episode offers both personal and therapeutic perspectives on what it means to navigate religious trauma and find safety, self-acceptance, and liberation in therapy.
Whether you're deconstructing your faith, supporting a loved one, or working through your own trauma, this conversation is a must-listen.
Connect with Liz Rhea:
Instagram: ⁠@lizrheatherapy⁠
Website: ⁠www.lizrheatherapy.com⁠
Connect with boy meets therapy:
Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠
Episode Guide & Chapters:
00:00 Introduction and Background
03:09 Understanding Religious Trauma
06:13 The Impact of Environment on Trauma
09:07 Experiences of Religious Trauma
12:08 Personal Stories and Reflections
15:10 Navigating Identity and Faith
17:46 Exploring Queer Identity and Community
19:12 The Process of Deconstruction
23:07 Reclaiming Identity and Rituals
24:47 The Impact of Religious Trauma
28:04 Understanding Sin and Identity
31:39 Creating Safe Spaces in Therapy
36:02 Inner Child Work for Queer Individuals
37:12 The Framework of Grief in Healing
Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

Adverse Childhood Experiences, Trauma, and the Power of Somatic Therapy in Healing with Natalie Reina

In this powerful episode, Dustin Oliver sits down with therapist Natalie Reina to explore the deep and lasting effects of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and the transformative power of somatic therapy in trauma recovery. Together, they unpack how childhood trauma shapes adult mental health, why recognizing patterns from abusive relationships is so difficult, and how grounding techniques and body-based therapies help clients reconnect with safety and self-awareness.
Whether you're a mental health professional, trauma survivor, or simply curious about holistic approaches to healing, this conversation offers valuable insight into how integrating mind and body can lead to long-term emotional recovery. Learn how ACEs impact the nervous system, what somatic therapy actually looks like in practice, and why creating safety is the first step in any therapeutic relationship.
Connect with Natalie Reina:
Instagram: ⁠@reinatherapy⁠
Website: ⁠https://reinatherapy.com/⁠
Connect with boy meets therapy:
Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠
Episode Guide & Chapters:
00:00 Exploring Personal Lore and Travel Experiences
03:08 Understanding Trauma in Therapy
06:12 Adverse Childhood Experiences and Their Impact
08:57 The Role of Somatic Therapy
11:58 How Trauma Manifests in the Body
14:59 Building Trust in Therapeutic Relationships
17:59 Recognizing Signs of Unresolved Trauma
24:35 The Journey of Self-Discovery
30:41 Connecting with the Body
34:40 Blending Therapeutic Modalities
40:21 Navigating Trauma and Relationships
45:03 Understanding Domestic Violence
48:09 Words of Wisdom
Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

Inside Psychiatry: Dr. Joseph Elfar on Self-Disclosure, Meds & Mental Health in the Social Media Era

In this episode, host Dustin Oliver sits down with psychiatrist Dr. Joseph Elfar for a thought-provoking conversation on the evolving role of psychiatry in mental health care. Dr. Elfar opens up about his personal journey into psychiatry, the importance of self-disclosure in clinical work, and how social media is transforming mental health awareness.
We dive deep into the realities of medication management, the influence of Big Pharma, and the cultural factors that impact psychiatric treatment. Dr. Elfar also shares insights on the value of validation and confrontation in therapy, the challenges new professionals face in the field, and why self-love and emotional insight are crucial for healing.
Whether you're a mental health professional, student, or someone curious about the inner workings of psychiatry, this episode offers a raw and accessible look at the intersection of mental health, culture, and modern psychiatry.
Connect with Dr. Joseph Elfar:
Instagram: ⁠@josephelfar.md⁠
TikTok: ⁠@josephelfarmd⁠
Website/Services: ⁠mindhealthpsychiatric.com/⁠
Connect with boy meets therapy:
Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠
Episode Guide & Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Background
03:16 The Role of Psychiatrists in Mental Health
06:09 Personal Journey into Psychiatry
09:15 Navigating the Transition from Student to Professional
12:14 Understanding Medication in Psychiatry
15:13 The Impact of Social Media on Mental Health Awareness
18:12 Diagnosis and Treatment Approaches
21:08 The Art of Psychopharmacology
25:34 The Impact of Social Media on Mental Health
29:57 Cultural Sensitivity in Psychiatry
35:11 The Balance of Validation and Confrontation in Therapy
39:07 The Influence of Big Pharma on Psychiatry
43:46 Understanding When to Consider Medication
44:40 Challenges in Psychiatric Care
48:23 Life Lessons and Quotes to Live By
Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

Fix Your Sleep: Therapist Tony Ho on Insomnia, Apnea, and What Really Works

Struggling to fall asleep or stay asleep? Wondering if melatonin, sleep hygiene, or therapy actually work? In this episode, sleep therapist Tony Ho joins us to unpack the most common sleep disorders, including insomnia and sleep apnea, and what you can do to finally get quality rest.
Tony breaks down the science of sleep, the psychological blocks that keep people awake, and why trying to "control" sleep can backfire. We explore the effectiveness of cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I), the real deal with melatonin supplements, and how cultural beliefs about productivity and rest shape our sleep habits. Tony also shares his personal sleep routine and practical tools you can start using tonight.
Whether you're dealing with chronic insomnia, poor sleep quality, or just want to understand your sleep better, this episode offers expert insight and actionable strategies.
Connect with Tony Ho
Instagram: ⁠@quadrawellness⁠
TikTok: ⁠@quadrawellness⁠
Therapy (Canada): ⁠www.quadrawellness.com/⁠
Connect with boy meets therapy:
Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠
Episode Guide & Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Calming Voices
01:32 Journey into Sleep Therapy
04:22 Understanding Insomnia and Sleep Struggles
05:22 The Importance of Predictability in Sleep
06:56 Understanding Sleep Disorders
09:50 Exploring Insomnia and Its Treatments
12:46 Debunking Sleep Myths and Misconceptions
15:51 The Role of Blue Light and Sleep Hygiene
17:12 Melatonin: Benefits and Misunderstandings
20:25 The Psychology of Sleep and Relaxation
23:03 Rebuilding Trust with Sleep
26:48 Understanding Sleep and Its Impact
30:03 Cultural Influences on Sleep
35:53 Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia
42:10 Personal Sleep Routines and Insights
Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

Disordered Eating, Diet Culture, and Therapy in the Digital Age with Lauren Larkin

In this episode, host Dustin sits down with therapist Lauren Larkin to unpack the complex relationship between disordered eating, diet culture, and mental health. Together, they explore how societal pressures, personal history, and media influence body image and eating behaviors, especially in the age of social media and virtual therapy. Lauren shares her journey from a career in media to becoming a clinician, offering insights into how her background shapes her approach to treating eating disorders. The conversation also touches on the challenges of remote therapy, the importance of curiosity in the healing process, and how therapists can create safe, supportive environments for recovery. If you're navigating disordered eating, interested in the intersection of media and mental health, or curious about therapy in the digital era, this episode is for you.
Connect with Lauren Larkin:
Instagram: ⁠@leltherapy⁠
TikTok: ⁠@leltherapy⁠
Website: ⁠www.leltherapy.com⁠
Connect with boy meets therapy:
Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠
Episode Guide & Chapters
00:00 Welcome to New York: First Impressions
02:07 Journey from Media to Therapy
05:01 Understanding Eating Disorders vs. Disordered Eating
09:00 The Impact of Diet Culture on Men
12:01 The Dangers of Social Media and Body Image
14:54 Treatment Approaches and Personal Experiences
20:13 Integrating Recovery into Daily Life
21:18 Navigating the Healing Journey
24:41 Understanding Eating Disorders and Therapy
28:07 The Impact of Food Noise on Mental Health
31:50 Uncovering Deeper Issues in Therapy
35:05 Coping Mechanisms and Client Engagement
38:57 Inspiration and Personal Growth
Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

Gay Men, Shame, and Healing Through Therapy with Brian Spitulnik

In this episode, therapist and former Broadway performer Brian Spitulnik joins Dustin to explore the intersections of shame, identity, and healing within the gay and broader queer community. Together, they unpack themes like internalized homophobia, social hierarchies among gay men, and the emotional toll of self-sabotage and rejection.
Brian opens up about his personal transformation, from life on the stage to becoming a clinician, and how embracing authenticity and vulnerability changed his path. The conversation delves into how race, body image, and trauma show up in therapy spaces, as well as the unique challenges queer people face in finding belonging and self-acceptance.
Whether you're a therapist, LGBTQ+ person, or ally, this episode offers a compassionate, insightful look into the emotional and relational landscape of queer identity, and how therapy can support deeper connection and growth.
Connect with Brian Spitulnik
TikTok: ⁠@spitulnik⁠
Instagram: ⁠@spitulnik⁠
Website: ⁠www.brianspitulnik.com/⁠
Connect with boy meets therapy:
Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠
Episode Guide & Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Identity Exploration
03:04 Understanding Shame in Gay Men
06:02 Self-Sabotage in Relationships
09:01 Social Hierarchy in Gay Culture
12:11 The Role of Therapy in Building Connections
14:52 Personal Journey and Professional Focus
17:54 Authenticity and Defense Mechanisms
29:28 The Journey to Authenticity
30:46 Vulnerability and Connection
33:14 The Weight of Shame
35:41 Navigating Identity in Different Environments
39:36 Coming Out and Acceptance
41:36 Rejection in the Queer Community
43:38 Therapeutic Dynamics and Race
48:47 The Complexity of Conversations
51:52 Lessons from Tragedy
Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder: DBT, Trauma, and Substance Use Recovery with Karley Chickness

In this episode, Dustin Oliver sits down with Karley, a therapist who specializes in treating Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and co-occurring substance use disorders. Together, they explore the complex relationship between emotional dysregulation, trauma, and addiction, highlighting how Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) offers hope and structure for individuals navigating these challenges.
Karley shares her journey into the counseling field, the realities of working with high-acuity clients, and the importance of compassion and boundaries in clinical work. This conversation offers valuable insights for therapists, students, and anyone curious about the inner world of BPD, the path to recovery, and how therapy can help rebuild lives.
Connect with Karley Chickness
⁠https://systemstherapy.org/⁠
Connect with boy meets therapy:
Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠
Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠
Episode Guide & Chapters: 
00:00 Introduction to Borderline Personality Disorder
03:02 Karley's Background and Journey into Counseling
05:55 Early Career Experiences and Specializations
08:35 Understanding Substance Use and Co-occurring Conditions
11:26 The Role of Trauma in Mental Health
14:17 Defining Borderline Personality Disorder
17:24 Dialectical Behavior Therapy Explained
20:17 The Impact of Trauma on BPD
22:35 Emotional Dysregulation in BPD
23:34 Understanding Emotional Intensity in BPD
26:15 The Role of DBT in Treatment
29:36 Modeling Secure Relationships
34:25 Active Passivity and Communication Challenges
35:05 Substance Use and BPD Treatment
38:47 Assessing Risks and Treatment Approaches
42:30 Internal Experience of BPD
44:37 Challenges in Treating BPD
47:15 Success Stories in BPD Recovery
50:06 Reflections on Being a Therapist
Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder and DBT: Insights from Therapist Sara Weand

In this conversation, Dustin Oliver and Sara discuss the intricacies of dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT), anxiety management, and borderline personality disorder (BPD).
Sara shares her personal journey into therapy, the challenges and rewards of working with individuals with BPD, and the importance of understanding emotional regulation. They explore the techniques used in DBT, including distress tolerance and mindfulness, and emphasize the need for compassion and acceptance in therapeutic relationships.
The discussion also highlights the misconceptions surrounding BPD and offers advice for friends and family members of those affected.
Connect with Sara Weand:
⁠www.saraweandlpc.com/⁠
Connect with boy meets therapy:
Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠
TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠
Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠
Episode Guide & Chapters: 
00:00 Introduction to Therapy and Personal Journey
09:37 Understanding Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT)
19:23 Anxiety and DBT Techniques
24:45 Practical Techniques for Calming Anxiety
26:59 Understanding Panic and Distress Tolerance
29:26 Self-Awareness in Anxiety Management
31:03 The Role of Trauma in Anxiety
34:59 The Purpose of Emotions and Anxiety
36:54 Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
42:47 Advice for Friends and Family of BPD Individuals
45:48 Hope and Recovery from BPD
Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

Redefining Sex: Performance Anxiety, Kinks, and the Truth About Intimacy with Dr. Eric Van Der Voort

In this eye-opening conversation, host Dustin Oliver speaks with Dr. Eric Van Der Voort, a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist, about the many misconceptions and complexities surrounding human sexuality. They explore how performance anxiety can disrupt intimacy, the importance of open communication in sexual relationships, and the ways societal norms shape, and often distort, our expectations around sex.
Dr. Van Der Voort offers a non-pathologizing approach to sexual behavior, distinguishing between sexual behaviors and addiction while encouraging a more compassionate understanding of kinks, fantasies, and the obsession with orgasm. He emphasizes the need to challenge internalized shame, redefine what “good sex” really means, and foster deeper connection through vulnerability and honest conversation.
Whether you’re a clinician, someone exploring your own sexuality, or simply curious, this episode offers practical insights and thoughtful reflections to support healthier, more fulfilling sexual relationships.
Connect with Dr. van der Voort:
⁠Therapy⁠
⁠Website⁠
Connect with boy meets therapy:
Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠
TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠
Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠
Episode Guide & Chapters: 
00:00 Introduction and Personal Connection
02:07 Exploring Clinical Work and Background
09:00 Transition to Sex Therapy
11:00 Understanding Sexuality and Addiction
17:27 Societal Attitudes Towards Sex
18:52 Performance Anxiety in Sexual Relationships
26:25 Navigating Sexual Performance Issues
31:16 The Importance of Open Communication in Sexual Relationships
32:09 Understanding Performance Anxiety and Its Impact
34:57 Challenging Societal Norms Around Sex
38:29 Redefining What Good Sex Means
42:56 The Obsession with Orgasm in Sexual Encounters
46:36 Navigating Kinks and Overcoming Shame
52:28 Fantasy vs. Reality in Sexual Desires
54:31 Key Takeaways for Healthy Sexual Practices
Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

Understanding Your Inner Parts: IFS Therapy, Trauma, and Self-Energy with Ryan Austin

In this episode, hosts Dustin Oliver and Ryan Austin, a licensed professional counselor, dive deep into the world of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. Together, they explore how IFS helps individuals understand their inner parts, navigate emotional trauma, and reconnect with their core Self-energy for lasting healing.
Ryan shares insights from his clinical work, including his experience with accountability courts, and discusses how childhood patterns, coping mechanisms, and numbing behaviors like addiction impact adult relationships and mental health.
The conversation also touches on the privilege of setting boundaries, cultural views of therapy, and the critical role of trust in the therapeutic process. Whether you're a therapist, someone in therapy, or curious about how IFS can help you heal, this episode offers a thoughtful, accessible introduction to one of today’s most transformative therapeutic modalities.
Connect with Ryan Austin:
⁠Ryan Austin Therapy⁠
Connect with boy meets therapy:
Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠
TikTok: ⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠
Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠
Episode Guide & Chapters: 
00:00 Introduction and Name Struggles
01:49 Ryan's Journey as a Licensed Professional Counselor
05:22 Understanding Accountability Court
10:04 Introduction to Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy
17:23 The Deeper Meaning of Therapy and Self-Care
22:46 Navigating Financial Fears and Self-Validation
24:32 The Impact of Cultural Perspectives on Therapy
26:13 The Privilege of Setting Boundaries
28:21 The Importance of Therapeutic Relationships
30:29 Understanding Core Self-Energy
36:05 Using IFS to Treat Trauma
40:25 Patterns from Childhood and Relationship Dynamics
45:28 Breaking Patterns: The Journey of Self-Discovery
51:06 Numbing and Addiction: Coping Mechanisms Explored
56:24 Listening to Our Parts: A Path to Self-Understanding
01:00:14 The Importance of Trust in Therapy
01:05:32 Sitting in the Slow: Embracing the Journey
Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver